Get Out Of My Classroom

"I want you to drop this class."

Ever since high school, I've developed this bad habit of falling asleep in class. There's rarely ever a time where I fall asleep anywhere else. Because of my tendency to just fall asleep whenever during any given class had my 12th grade English teacher thinking I was narcoleptic. She was kidding of course. Some fellow classmates even came up with the idea that I have the ability to learn in my sleep, since I somehow fall asleep in class almost everyday, yet maintain my grades. Obviously I can't learn in my sleep, and honestly I do stay awake for a fair amount of the time; Just with my eyes closed. Often times I wake up for 7 seconds to write down the new notes before closing my eyes again. I'm going off track here.. 

Basically, I fell asleep in Psychology class today- as you're probably suspecting- just like any other day. It has only been a few weeks of this semester so far so it really hasn't been that long, but I think it's safe to say falling asleep in Psychology has become a routine. Why? Why do I sleep in Psychology? Misjudgment. I misjudged my teacher. Every Tuesday and Thursday my first two classes are English and Psychology. Not that I should be sleeping in any class (and there are obvious solutions to this), but I force myself to stay awake in my early English class which leads me to falling asleep in Psychology, the following class. The reason why I said I misjudged my teacher was because I thought he was the kind of teacher who didn't care. He even said at the beginning of the semester something about not caring what we do because it's our own grade. Perhaps I'm thinking the wrong teacher? But this guy totally gives off that sort of aura. I even asked him on the first day of class, "Do you want us to bring our textbooks to class?" and his response was, "I don't care, do what you want" *chuckles* *then half the class behind me chuckles* Was it a stupid question? But anyways, I felt that sleeping would be okay on his terms. 

There are some teachers out there who don't care whether you sleep or not. I like those kinds of teachers because they let your grades do the talking. My math teacher is exactly like that. He, surprisingly enough, seems to like to me. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I was the only one in Trigonometry class last semester that had 101% in the class? I'm not trying to brag of course, and that Trigonometry class felt that of a high school level math class. But what I'm trying to say is, I like his style of teaching, it works effectively on me (considering my performance in his class, aside form the sleeping), and he doesn't mind me sleeping. Now I'm not trying to say every teacher should be like that, or the same for that matter, but I'm just trying to say that there are some teachers out there like that. 

Now my psychology teacher on the other hand, clearly after today, does not like sleeping students. In fact most teachers don't. To be honest, I wouldn't like it either as a teacher. Does that make me a hypocrite? I don't know. But whatever, I digress. I was tired enough to lay my head on my desk rather then rest my cheek on my hand with my my elbow upright and my eyes closed. Like I mentioned earlier, I awoke every couple minutes to take in the new notes, so I definitely have all the notes. You might be thinking, "Well, yeah, but you missed the lecture." You are indeed right, however I have multiple friends in that class to refer to and the textbook at home of course. Does that make sleeping okay? No it doesn't, but as long as I can ace the class, I'm still happy, regardless of whether I slept through each lecture or not. 

But anyways, after class my teacher pointed to me and said (pretty loudly) that he wanted to see me after class. It was obvious what he wanted to see me for. He answered to students' questions after class as I patiently waited. He waited until the classroom was empty before he went off on me. I guess he wanted to yell at me that bad. Had he told me in a normal voice during class, I would have preferred that over him yelling at me in private, but whatever floats his boat. He said I sleep in EVERY class period. Really though, that's false, I've been awake for the past two class sessions, and definitely at the beginning of the semester, and possibly some other random days. Plus I don't sleep for the ENTIRE class session, but it's clearly a weak argument and pushing any further on the fact would only make my situation worse. At times like this you really gotta suck your teacher's dick. It wasn't really that hard of a battle though. He simply demanded that I drop his class and said that there are people missing desks and paying attention, while I'm sleeping and taking up space. He felt like we were wasting each other's time. I told him that I had all the notes, but he didn't care. Quite a stubborn guy I must say, but not surprising for a whit- err.. I mean American. 

Now lets take a different angle really quick. Why were there student without desks? Because the teacher took in more students than his class could handle. A bad thing? No, it's hard to find classes these days, so he's being awfully generous to let them in. Why were those students in those chairs? Because they arrived to class ten minutes late. So is it entirely my fault that I'm wasting time and space? I personally don't think so. But I still feel ashamed for I did. Really, I'm supposed to be changing from my high school days.. 

And so, I switched to dick sucking mode. "Can I have a second chance?" I asked 5 or 6 times. "What makes you think you deserve it?!" My instructor asked. "I won't sleep anymore.." I said. I felt like a child being lectured by his father for breaking a house rule. Still that wasn't enough though. After a bit of argument he said, "How do you think you'll do on the test next thursday?" "I'm going to do well on it," I firmly responded. And once more after that, "So can I please have a second chance?" I asked. The teacher was clearly mad, but it didn't look like he wasn't going to give me a second chance, so I was fairly confident. I just needed to smile, nod, agree with everything said, and agree with every challenge he offered. Our little discussion concluded with him declaring, "If you fall asleep one more time, I'm going to stop the class and point out to you, 'GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM' you got that?! For the rest of the semester!! GOT IT?!" I nodded and accepted it. What else am I supposed to do? I then promised to do the exact opposite of what he suspected I would do. The teacher then chuckled and sarcastically said, "We'll see about that." I wasn't surprised. I've heard that line more times than I could count back in high school. 

I wish I had the writing ability to bring out the true emotion of our conversation because it was pretty intense. I recall making previous posts of complaints regarding other quarrels I've gotten into with other instructors in college, but I think I'm starting to understand them a little more. So should I blame my psychology teacher for the amount of disrespect he showed me today? No. It's my fault too.

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It's a shame too because it's Chinese New Years, I wore a lot of red today for good luck. I expected today to be a good day. I literally came home with my ankle cramping because I hit almost EVERY single red light on the way home. It was terribly frustrating; all that shifting and whatnot. And I have a really heavy clutch in my car too! But what's the point in complaining? That's what blogging is for. I need to release my emotions here, then go do what I planned to do to take my mind off of it. I have to say the simultaneous feeling of anger, sorrow, and guilt is really discomforting, but this teacher thing is merely temporary and as long as I can prove myself, everything will be just fine. I just need to keep my head up! I'm going to go wash my car, clean my room(s), and pick up around the house. I'll even help my mom cook dinner tonight haha. Today is supposed to mark a new beginning, so hopefully tomorrow turns out much better.