Parents Will Be Parents

It's been a while since I've heard my dad yell, but sometimes it's just... kinda silly. But hey, parents will be parents.

On Sunday my dad was having me help him fix a car. He seemed to be in a pretty good mood about it, and decided to end the day early so we could relax and finish the car another day. As he was flipping through channels on his tv, called out to me as he could hear me enter the adjacent room. He calmly asked me if I could do him a favor the following day (Monday). He asked if I could grab him a box of small envelopes, a box of large envelopes, some printer paper, and some order forms for mechanics. He said he would give me money to buy it, but soon after realized he had no cash on him, so he offered me his debit card instead and then left it on the counter. 

"Ah, I might be able to go today!" I said because I thought I had plans later that day, so I could go pick up his stuff on the way. The thought of me being able to fulfill his request a day earlier delighted my dad, but unfortunately my plans got cancelled so I said, "Meh, I'll just pick up your stuff tomorrow, Dad."

He didn't really give me a response. He initially asked me to do it a day later, so it's not like he could really say much about it. When I mentioned it to my mom she said, "Oh! I have envelopes he could use." She even told him, but once again he didn't give much response. I guess he wanted his own envelopes. He seemed really nonchalant about the whole situation so I wasn't really in a rush to pick up his goods. I later got a call from my friend who wanted to see the movie Black Swan, so I figured, 'Oh I can grab my dad's stuff before I see the movie. Save more gas.' 

Come Monday, I slept in, lounged around the house, and played piano after I woke up. It was a nice relaxing day. I like to spend time with myself sometimes. It's really relaxing. As I was warming up some those instant noodles I got for christmas from my sister, I noticed that all the garbage cans were full and decided to take them all out. I also noticed a fairly large pile of dirty dishes in the sink and thought about cleaning them, but my noodles finished, so I sat down for an episode of anime while eating them. Right after the episode finished, I started to surf the internet as my dad stepped through the door after a regular day of work. "Did you get my stuff???" he asked.

"Uhh.. Not yet." I replied. 

After my response, he walked over my room and proceeded to yell at me. He apparently expected me to pick up his goods while he was at work. He was infuriated that he left his debit card with me and that he wasn't able to use it while he was at work. I told him that I didn't know it he wanted his envelopes, etc immediately. He then started to go off about how it's only common sense that I get them asap because he NEEDED them. But he was so nonchalant about it the previous day.. I told him that if he needed them urgently, he could've told me, or used the ones my mom offered. He then complained that my mom never pulled them out for him. Seriously? I told him, "Dude, you didn't ask her for the envelopes..."

His argument was that when someone asks about something it usually means they need it right away. I just thought he was being silly at this point. If he REALLY needed it, he could've used my mom's.. In a sarcastic voice he said, "What'd you think?! I needed them, what.. A month later??????? Huh?!" 

And I responded, "Well, YEAH. You never said you needed them immediately! You could've just wanted a small box of envelopes and a big box to refill some you might've emptied. Or maybe you just needed them for future reference!"

After several more minutes of arguing he finally realized we were arguing over something really stupid and pointed it out. He was power tripping that I didn't get his envelopes at the beginning of the day, and I said, "Dad.. it was just a misunderstanding..." 

But arguments can't just end there. My dad always needs more. So at times like this he'll try to tie it other things, which eventually become really broad. He then started going off about how unreliable I am. As he proceeded to complain about my unreliability, he started to point out flaws and other reasons from the past why I'm unreliable. This is when I go into 'OK' mode and start nodding, agreeing, and "okay"-ing everything he says. He started small and talked about how I never wash dishes. I told him I was planning on actually washing them for once, but that's obviously not enough to pacify him. He then started using more past examples and slowly moved onto how much of a failure I am at life. That's how I know the lecture is almost over. Our arguments always end up at my dad telling me how much of a failure I am at life. I mean, he never really says it to my face, but he implies it by providing numerous examples of my shortcomings and failures and then asking, "What are you going to do with your life?!" I've heard my dad say the same things over and over again, but whenever I point it out he responds, "Well then I guess it just goes through one ear and out the other!!!" It gets annoying. By the end of the lecture since all I'm doing is saying "Yeah" and "Okay", my dad starts to calm down. I mean shoot, he's already gained power of the argument. He thinks while he lectures, you can tell a lot of it is improvised and sometimes he repeats himself or stumbles on his thoughts. Sometimes he doesn't know how to end the lecture. In fact all of his lectures end rather awkwardly, but I don't really care as long as it's over.. Once he calms, he starts to see things from my side and brings them up, but counters them with his own statements in order to maintain power. Shortly after, I stopped my dad and retraced back to the original topic of me not buying his envelopes before. Once I pull that card, he'll try to tie the original argument to his lecture about 'growing up in life' which usually comes out half-assed. I'm naive and ignorant, but not as ignorant as I was in high school. I understand what my dad feels and how I would feel if I was in his shoes. I understand my shortcomings and all the things I need to improve on. HOWEVER, the envelope thing was a genuine misunderstanding. Even though he expected me to getting them asap as a given, if he would've told me he needed them right away I would've picked them up the day he asked.. Oh well, parents will be parents.